Lesson 3 of 11
In Progress

If I knew this about followers earlier…


There come moments in every man’s life, when he turns towards the wall, and voluntarily bangs his head, thinking ‘Stupid, stupid’.

Usually it’s a double bang. Close your eyes and visualise it, you’ll see I am right.

Go ahead. I had one of those moments.


Since my first years of tango, I always loved dancing with very advanced followers. You know the kind:

The one that feels like melted butter…

that makes everything feel so much easier…

that makes you feel as a man…

that makes you feel good about your dance…

that knows exactly when to add a beautiful adorno to make your dance feel better and you like a musical genius.



One question was always in my mind: Did she also enjoy dancing with me?

She seemed to understand everything I wanted to do, but did I understand what SHE wanted to do?

And then I took one online private class and one presencial private class, focused on a very specific topic:


How do advanced followers communicate what they want to the leaders?

I learned a lot of things, and mentally banged my head on the wall many times.


I remembered so many dances where I was dancing with advanced followers and felt that something went wrong, but didn’t know what.

Today I will share a few with you.

Feel free to check the Curious Tanguero Advanced for the 9 things you need to know to dance better with advanced followers.


Let’s start with the right questions:


  • How does she lead the leaders?
  • What does she do when she needs more time?
  • What does she do when she would like to accelerate or slow down?


Now it would be a good moment for you to pause and ask yourself if you know the answers to the above questions.

Because if you don’t…

…that means that many a woman have felt a bit disappointed when trying to create a beautiful dance with you.


Here is what most of the advanced followers do to communicate info:


They focus on the embrace.


For example, if they want to slow down, advanced followers do NOT block the elbows.

This is usually what beginners followers do.

Like saying to you: STOP, now it is MY time.

It’s forced, definitely not a nice feeling.


Instead, advanced followers focus on the hands.

Like when you walk with your girlfriend on a street, and she squeezes your hand when you are about to cross the street while a car is coming your direction.

Or when you dance with her, and you see the couple in front of you coming dangerously close to her.

What is the first thing you do?

Τense your hand.

She is doing the same thing.

She is passing information without blocking you through her hand.


Then when she needs to accelerate, she builds in her body the tension she needs for that acceleration.

To understand this, think of what you do when you pretend you are boxing with someone.

You bring some tension in your arms, maybe lift a bit your shoulders to protect your jaw.

You build in your body the tension you need for that pretend boxing match.

Advanced followers do the same.

They just don’t prepare for boxing (unless you reeeaally messed up).

They prepare the muscles they need to accelerate.

And then…



For what?


To see if you noticed that change in their body.

And most importantly: to see if you mirrored that change.

To see if you put the tension you need in your muscles for the upcoming acceleration.


If you do that, then they know they dance with an advanced follower who understands.


Read that sentence again:


If you mirror their change, then they know they dance with an advanced follower who understands.


To summarise everything in one actionable advice:


Notice when and where they change tension in their bodies, and mirror that.


P.S. Mirroring goes far beyond this tip. It’s a game changer. Keep that in mind.


And if you like those emails, make sure to invite your friends to join the newsletter at the bottom of this page.

They’ll thank you.


Stay curious,
The Curious Tanguero